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ThePilgrimsAdventure

Words from my head.

I Can’t

I can not win in this workplace.

Every leg up I get, I get thrown down. I am a hard worker, I learnt quickly and am capable of working alone.

But the rules that apply to EVERYONE else, seem to not apply to myself or the other girl in my team. We constantly get in trouble for things outside our control.

I get bullied by a member in Operations in another state, but because its not “personal” enough the company don’t care.

I am feeling beaten and broken and its become a struggle coming to work. I don’t want that. I want to enjoy work. I spend most of my life here, why would I want to hate it.

I just feel like I’m on a sinking ship. My manager seems to be the instigator in all of this. Maybe I need to look elsewhere, but I don’t know where. It took so long to get this job and its just down the road from our house.

I don’t want to be the depressed version of myself again.

How do you overcome a horrible workplace?

 

Work

In December I gave up a job I enjoyed to work in an office to guarantee hours and have more pay.

The decision was a good one, My husband and I can now pay all our bills and knock out some debt. We don’t have to be as scared to eat out or treat ourselves because we know we have money in the bank.

The negative that came from this is that I have somewhat retreated into the darker version of myself.

I am the type of person who easily takes on the attributes of others. I like what they like, talk how they talk, do what they do. However as a follower of Jesus there are certain things I wont do. I wont go out drinking or swearing. I don’t change how I dress, but I do find my thought patterns changing. I start to be more negative, winge and moan about people. I join in with gossip and the horrible things others are saying. I enjoy tearing people down. I love it. Helps the day pass.

That is not what Jesus asks of us. He asks us to love our neighbours as ourselves. He calls us to be kind and not to gossip. My actions are not only making me sin against God but they are also making my life negative.

I have found that I am nastier to myself and to those around me. My self talk is scary, I tear myself down and dive into a hole of laziness and want to close myself off to the world.

I don’t like how a change of job does that to me, I don’t want to be that person. I want to be light in the workplace. Some one who brings joy and not negativity.

I want to be better, I will be better.

Essential Oils..

I was introduced to essential oils by way of migraines…Yay. I got my period in year 7. But it wasn’t until early last year that I started to get hormonal migraines. Every day during my period I would get a horrible migraine. I was working in sales and was using the computer alll day. It would set me off in the worst way, I would get dizzy and nauseous and it would result in a day of bed rest. No lights, wet cloth over my eyes and an audio book playing in the background. Then I would sleep and sleep and pray the migraine away.

After multiple doctors visits and trialing pills and rings nothing was working. A cousin gave me some of her essential oils to help ease the pain. doTERRA’s PastTense blend. It was such a savior during the days of migraine HELL.
After the oil ran out I got a chemist brand headache relief oil. It did not help at all. So I let the idea of using oils go.

A friend from my hometown was a Consultant for doTERRA and had been messaging me on and off about the business opportunity of doTERRA. I kept giving her excuses, essential oils weren’t for me. But then…. A friend was hosting an essential oil party and when I saw all the ways to use the oils, I was hooked!!
You can literally use these oils for EVERYTHING. Health issues, headaches, tooth aches, vericose veins, stress, anxiety, hunger suppressants, all things emotion and more.

I loveeee these oils. They have changed my life in the best way! I use them everyday for everything.

I have my diffuser on non stop, in the morning I put a energetic mix on. Afternoon and evening usually a health benefit mix to help with keeping illness away and my body ready for anything. Bed time I use a sleepy time mix. I swear by my oils.

I use the DigestZen blend in my water to help with gut health, EasyAir on my chest to help my lungs and chest do its job, Balance to calm my moods and keep my mind at ease, Citrus Bliss to pep me up and keep me feeling happy!!
Plus I make roller bottle mixes and use the oils in cleaning products and even my moisturiser.

I used to think essential oils were for hippies. And if thats the case, count me in!! These oils are transforming my life. They are keeping me healthy and happy and the friends I have made because of doTERRA will be friends for life. I am so thankful for my hippie oils. I will forever me greatful!!

Georgie P

 

No More Study

So last week my husband and I made the decision to put my study on hold. It was costing us $300 a month, but with his minimum wage and the very little study allowance I was entitled to, the bills were piling up.

That wasn’t all, I wasn’t motivated. I was being lazy and wasting my time. I wasn’t putting the effort in that I should have been. I was sending my husband to work everyday to support something I wasn’t even committed to. I was left feeling guilty and it was eating away at me.

I had a little break down and it was decided to stop the study.

I’m started applying for jobs and praise the Lord, there are 2 reception jobs going at youth psychologist offices. How fitting for someone who wants to work with youth.

I would make an amazing admin lady. I have all the skills, and its in a field I would enjoy.

I’m praying that the Lord’s favour is upon me and I get a reception job at a youth psych office.

Pray for me.

X

Georgie P

My heart.

Lord,

My heart aches. In this time of suffering the world is turning. I have seen tweets and facebook posts saying

“You can’t preach against gays in church and then pray for them when they get slaughtered”

That is so incorrect. When preaching against “gays” in church, they are talking about what the Bible says, but the Bible also says to have compassion and to love your neighbour as yourself. I may not agree with your sin, but I also don’t agree with my own sin. I’m a sinner, but everyday I look to Jesus and know that in him I have salvation. In him I have freedom and grace.

We are all made in God’s image, he loves us regardless of what we do and don’t do.

This violence in the word IS IN THE BIBLE.

2 Timothy 3: 1-5

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of  themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive,disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

It is written. More than once, that bad things will start to happen. People will be horrible, the world will fall into chaos. This is not the last shooting, the gun laws will help condense America’s situation, but it wont fix this issue. People’s heart have fallen.
As a christian I look to the Lord for help. I look to the Lord for assurance and peace.

I want to think in the face of a shooting, I would look to the Lord. I would ask for his will to be done, that his love would surround me.
But I know that when my time comes in any facet it will be okay. I get to leave this world of suffering and pain and be with Jesus. I get to be with my Lord and saviour.
Hallelujah. My God is good.

This shooting does NOT define the people left behind. Look to the Lord. Pray.

Amen.Georgie P x

Home.

Today our home was inspected. It was such an anxiety fueled morning knowing someone was coming into my home to judge it.
I keep a neat home. I have lots of trinkets and nick nacks and to some that makes the space cluttered but to me it makes it a lived in space. I enjoy having my lounge room overflowing with photos and books and flowers and candles.
We tidied and deep cleaned every area of the home so this lady could tick some boxes and say we haven’t destroyed the house.
She looked through my things and took so many photos.
My anxiety was in overdrive. These inspections usually last 15mins MAX. She was here for 1.5hr. I have a veryy small home. The master bedroom isn’t even considered the master as its so small.
She paced back and fourth through the rooms, stared and took her photos.
I love my home but I felt that I live my life wrong because she didn’t like the way the house is kept.
We don’t have a showroom home. We have an old house, with old things and its homey. You walk in and know that people live there and love living there.
Benches are clean and the floor is to, but that isn’t enough when to her everything didn’t look brand new.
So now she has left and I’m sitting on my lounge, I can finally take a deep breath and thank the Lord that our home is still ours and its still wonderful, regardless of someone else’s opinion.

Georgie P

A Prayer.

Lord,

My heart is aching, I feel so alone. Please Lord, send me a friend. Someone who will cherish my friendship as much as I cherish theirs. I feel so alone in my walk.
I see the failing of so many friendships around me. My heart is aching, I am crying out to you.
Please send me a friend. Someone who loves you and will push me in my walk. Someone who I can laugh with and enjoy time with. Someone I can cry with and be a shoulder for them.
A friend who wont just be here for a season, but a lifetime.
Lord I need a friend. I need that relationship.
Calm my heart in the time of waiting, let me relish in the not now. Hold tight to my husband and be content with where we are.
I pray for that sort of friendship for both of us.

I need a girl friend Lord. I have been feeling so lonely in this new town without one.
I know you hear my plea and see me where I am.
I know that you NEVER leave me nor forsake me. Settle my heart for this season of not yet, while you prepare me for the things to come.

In Jesus’ precious name.

Amen

Comparison…

I am sick and tired of HATING myself because I’m not someone else.

I compare myself constantly to other people and it gets myself down and down. I am so deeply unhappy when I do this. I am happy with myself,my body, home, husband, life.
Then I see other people with new things and a more “loving” husband and I just get so depressed.

My husband is the literal best! He speaks words of encouragement and love over me. He is kind to me, he works hard for our family so I can stay home and study. He is generous and sexy! He is proud of me and the best friend I could ever ask for!

But then…. I watch a youtube video or see friends be gooey and lovely and forget that I’ve got it good.

Or friends get a new unit and I come home to our old cold/hot box house. But I forget that our bank account only allows for cheap rent, WHICH WE HAVE. We are blessed by a home full of furniture, pictures, food and love.

I compare our fully functional second hand furniture with other brand new furninture. When I’m home I have never ever noticed that our things are second hand. They don’t have rips or tears. they are sturdy and fresh. But then I go to someone else’s home with their new things and end up hating everything we own.

COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY………..

A statement has never been truer. The more I compare my completely different life to someones elses, the more I am unhappy.

I need to shed this spirit of comparison. My life is great. Sure we struggle financially at times but we have a roof over our heads, food on the table and love in our hearts.

I need to not compare myself. I love my life. I have Jesus and my husband.

Thats all I really need.

x Georgie P

Not having a fun time….

Well hey,

 

My last date advised that I had started to study. I am not doing well. The course work is easy to do, but my motivation is small and my heart is heavy.

I spend my days on the couch researching everything baby. I want a baby. Its all  I want, but I know that if my husband and I start trying no only after 8 months of marriage we will long for the time we didn’t get together just us.

But I want a baby in my arms. A lady from our church just had a baby girl and instead of being overjoyed I cried. Not just little tears but an entire afternoon of sobbing (that literally just happened.) I know that I’m not ready to be a Mum and that my husband isn’t ready for a bub just yet but its all I want.

Maybe the idea of a baby is what I’m after so I don’t have to think about my study. Maybe I think I can only be good at being a Mum and nothing more. I want a little person of my own. But I think to the future and see the little getaways just hubby and me and that looks so wonderful, however my days are marked longing for a little one.

I need to re motivate myself back into study. So I can work, make all the $$$ and keep my mind off babies.

 

Georgie P

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